


Memories

by endlcss_possibilities



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Deceit is only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 18:00:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14878607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endlcss_possibilities/pseuds/endlcss_possibilities
Summary: Virgil's earliest memories are cold...





	Memories

My earliest memories are cold.

Not in the “I don’t care about anything” sense, but in the literal “physically cold no matter how many layers you put on” type of cold.

I know that the others were “born” (if you can call what we do being born) when Thomas was, but I was born later on. 

Probably a good thing.

If a baby had anxiety, something would be horribly wrong with the world.

But I suppose that the others had good, easy times when they were created.

That’s how I know I’m a Dark Side.

That’s what he tells me at least…

“You should have seen yourself when I found you. You were a mess. No one could ever mistake you for one of them”

Guess I’m evil through and through.

But he’s not wrong, I have to admit. I didn’t have an easy time of being created. I didn’t understand what was happening or how to control my powers. 

Poor Thomas, that was the first time he had a full blown anxiety attack.

I felt bad, but I couldn’t do anything about it. He’d gotten so worked up and was experiencing these feelings for the first time so strongly that it created me. Then my lack of control just made things worse.

That’s how he found me.

Damn snake, he always manages to see me at my lowest points. That’s how he works, finding stuff to use against other people. Makes it easier to lie to them the more he knows about them. 

Also makes it easier to use as blackmail if someone happens to see through those lies.

Which I do, most of the time. I’m anxiety, paranoia is a part of what I do. But it’s not like I can just up and leave.

He says that I’m indebted to him for teaching me how to control my influence over Thomas. And I am grateful in a twisted way that he did that, but I also know that he’s just using me for those powers, so it makes sense that he would teach me how to use them and use them well. 

He wasn’t the most patient teacher, but what he did teach me was useful. Since being aware that Thomas was lying for personal gain was something that made my influence go into overdrive, it was easy for him to use that to his advantage. 

At first I had absolutely no control over it, sending Thomas into anxiety attacks every time.

And every time I did, he would tell me that the longer it took for me to help Thomas calm down, the harsher my punishment would be.

You don’t want to know what those punishments were.

But they ended up being effective because I quickly got my influence on Thomas under control and it took me less and less time to help him calm down if I gave him an attack. And the times I gave him an attack were becoming fewer as well.

Another benefit of this was being able to see through his lies. It didn’t make him happy (nothing I did seemed to please or impress him), but it didn’t really help me either.

I still owed him…

I can still remember how furious he was that I spoke with the other Sides. It didn’t matter to him that they all clearly hated me, he didn’t want them “influencing me before I was fully in control of myself”. 

But now that they know about me, somehow I keep getting dragged into these conversations that Thomas has with them. He was able to keep me hidden for a while, but my influence seems to be stronger on Thomas than his is. He’s also better at keeping himself and the other Dark Sides hidden. My powers are still too unwieldy for him to fully hide. 

To tell the truth (heh, isn’t that ironic, that I don’t like to lie now), I’m kind of enjoying being pulled into these things. Thomas and the others are entertaining and it kind of makes me want to help them instead of oppose them. Logic and Morality seem to think that I’m an important facet to Thomas’s personality (Princey, not so much, but then again he’s not the most clever).

And Thomas himself is starting to expect my presence, even if he only tolerates it.

I know they’ll never accept me, but something about them makes me want to try to be accepted. 


End file.
